I’ve got a question to ask the universe.
Why can’t we all just get along?
A string of events recently has left me feeling not only speechless but also disappointed in the people around me who, although never “friends”, should have been there for me in tough times but weren’t. This is not going to be a negative piece of writing because for me, I believe that everything happens for a reason – sometimes it just takes a little bit longer to figure out what that reason is!
In my industry, the personal training and group fitness world – it is, like any other industry, a dog eat dog world out there! (For want of a better expression!). I am surrounded by other personal training businesses, and I have literally HUNDREDS of group exercise instructors around me. Some of whom I would call friends, the vast majority who I know by name only and have met only once or sometimes never, and then a very small number (of which I could count on one hand) who have judged me by listening to the lies and opinions of others. I know for a FACT that I could go to any one of these hundreds of group exercise acquaintances and ask a question – and I would have the answer virtually the next minute. Probably followed up by a chat about how our classes and training is going. No dramas. Thankfully that’s how it works in our industry the majority of the time. BUT. There are individuals that are literally next door to me, who I see week in week out, that I simply can not connect with. Why is that?
Why can’t we all just get along?
We’re in the business of wellness, health, fitness and lifestyle. Whether we like it or not, the decisions we make on a day to day business about how we run our classes, and training sessions will affect the lives of those around us. With so much new and innovative research out there on topics such as nutrition, lifting etc, of course there are bound to be differences of opinion – we are human beings – we were not all programmed the same. If you feel really strongly about something someone has posted on social media or written in a newspaper or spoken verbally – why not face that person and ask their reasons behind it?
What happened to good old fashioned talking through issues with people face to face?
In the past 4 weeks or so I have been coming to terms with the fact that a small number of people who should be my allies are in fact, my enemies. People who work in the same business as me are, instead of helping me to help others, are going out of their way to stop me from doing what I love. Shocking, isn’t it?
So why is it that we can’t all just get along?
I have done a lot of thinking recently. The more I think about it, the less time I want to allocate to thinking about it. Yes I have been treated very unfairly, yes it is extremely disappointing that people who should want to help me, have instead turned their back on me.
It makes you paranoid.
What have I done wrong? What is wrong with me? You start to question your every move, your every post on social media – you start to wonder if it’s worth being honest anymore – for fear of your words being twisted and turned. I’ve been anxious, mildly depressed, not eating as well as usual, procrastinating, uninterested in things that normally interest me, and well… NEGATIVE. I don’t want to be negative! I am allowing people who, DON’T EVEN KNOW ME, to control my actions and feelings!
The true story is that, a persons’ actions towards you are a true reflection of their own problems. I am not the problem here. They are. I am not the one with the problem here. They are. So I keep telling myself, anyway. It’s a shame really.
It saddens me to think that people who are part of the same town and the same industry as me have created a force against me instead of facing me with their opinions and asking me for the facts. I have to come to terms with the fact that these cowards will never be able to do that – and I have to come to terms with my losses, and just accept that everything does happen for a reason. Even if that reason isn’t apparent yet. However one thing I will say is (and the small number of people who really DO know me will vouch for this) I will NOT lie back and be trodden on like a piece of dirt on the ground. I WILL fight to gain my confidence and positive aura back that YOU took away – and it will be a short fight.
Please don’t judge someone on what others tell you. If you have never met someone, never spoken to them, never got to know them – don’t judge them on what others tell you about them. Get to know them, make your OWN judgments. Never judge a book by its cover.
It really does make me sad to think that people can’t put their differences aside and instead unite as a team to make each other stronger. I pity you. For you will never truly be happy.
So from this day forward, I will be making every effort to use these experiences as a massive learning curve never to be repeated again. I will continue to be myself, I will continue to be controversial in my marketing and I would advise that if you don’t like it? DON’T FUCKING LOOK! See? I swear a lot. Don’t like it? You know what to do. If you would like to question anything I do, it’s very simple to get in touch with me and question me to my face. I will welcome you with open arms. Let’s discuss this, let’s agree to disagree, let’s LEARN FROM EACH OTHER! Yes? No? If you disagree with advice I’m giving to people – PLEASE TELL ME! Maybe there’s something I can LEARN from you, that will in turn BENEFIT those around me! Do you understand where I’m coming from here? Instead of being negative – do something positive. That’s how I roll, and that is how I will continue to roll for the rest of my life.
Now if you don’t mind, I have world domination to be getting on with…