Do you spend too much time thinking about what you “should” be doing..thinking… instead of what you actually WANT to do…?
Possibly one of the biggest hurdles that I have overcome in my journey to health and well being has been getting over the fear of what other people think of me. This applies to life in general but I think we all face this at some point in our journey through fitness. So really, what should our response be to other people’s opinions? Well, here is mine – FUCK IT.
I spent many many years of my life worrying about what other people thought of me, wondering what they were saying about me behind my back, and always putting other people’s plans, feelings, EVERYTHING before my own. Having suffered from health related anxiety for many years, it is still something I slip back in to doing, but I can quickly slip back out of it again. What if they notice I’m bloated today? They must think I’ve put weight on. I’m supposed to be a good role model and look at me. What will people think of me if I take time off, eat a fucking slice of pizza… etc etc. The list goes on and may seem trivial and completely irrational but are completely true.
A perfect example of this happens often to myself AND my clients when it comes to eating habits. Other people see you eating well and looking after yourself, and then try to make you feel bad for it. Like it’s not the right thing to be doing. Not only that but they try to lure you away from it.
“Oh, come on, just have ONE” or “Surely you can just have a little bit? You worked really hard for it” The only reason they’re saying this is because they don’t have the strength to do it for themselves and sort out their own shitty eating habits. And they’re trying to get reassurance from you that what they eat is “okay”.
Why should you care what people think of you?
Why are we all so scared of being selfish? Always putting others before ourselves and feeling obliged constantly to be here, be there, do this, do that. Have you ever been in a situation where you are “supposed” to be somewhere, do something but you really don’t want to? You’re only doing it because you’re “supposed” to do it, or because someone else wants you to do it? It happens to us all daily. Why should you spend ONE SECOND of your life doing something because you feel that you “SHOULD”.?
It has taken me a long time to have the guts to be selfish. I have often canceled nights out, dinner and other occasions because of my anxiety and although the select few don’t understand and don’t even bother trying to – the vast majority – and the ones that MATTER – do understand. I could have just gone because I “should” be there – but instead I was selfish and did what was best for me – and this is a choice that EVERYBODY should be able to make.
- Starting being selfish
- Stop giving a fuck what other people think about you
- Stop doing things just because you SHOULD do them. Those who truly care about you will respect your decisions whatever they may be.
- Spend time with people who are like minded, who love you for who you are and will drive you forward towards your dream.
- Forget the haters. They do not deserve your energy.
- Be yourself.
- Be the complete opposite of what everyone expects you to be.
- Say what you think, not what others expect you to say.
“Why? Cause what’s a life worth living if you are not really living your own life, but the life others expect you to live…. (Ben Coomber).”
GO BE YOURSELF!